Several weeks ago, I finally taught lower semester students. I felt really nervous. I even can’t sleep well on the night before I teach. But I didn’t want to be honest to my self. I kept saying this to my self, ”Come on! It’s not a big deal.” Of course it didn’t help because it WAS a big deal. My head kept asking these questions: What if the students do not understand what I’m saying? These students are the real students. They are different from my friends who pretended to be students. They wouldn’t tolerate me if I made mistakes or if I couldn’t make them understand. And I couldn’t make up my teaching because this is the only chance I have. I haven’t known this class, what style should I use when I teach? And honestly, I felt a bit sorry to choose Structure for my final test in Micro Teaching. How dare I do that!
Preparing teaching with those questions in my head was not easy. When I prepared the material, sometimes I stopped, not to have a rest, but to get over my fear from me.
My turn to teach finally came. The students’ expression motivated me, but I sweat a lot when I taught them. I felt so glad when the students said that they didn’t have any questions after I explained several sub-chapters. They seemed understand but I would prove my speculation from the exercises and quiz they would do.
When we did the exercise, actually, sometimes I was doubt whether some answers they stated were correct or not. Sometimes they mentioned unexpected answer and because I didn’t prepare my self for that unexpected answer, I usually would ask them, ”what do you think about that?”, to give my self time to think of why the student’s answer was/was not correct. Before I found the explanation, usually other students would mention the expected answers and I would just say ,”yes, this answer is more appropriate” without really explaining why this answer is more appropriate than the answer he/she mentioned. But they usually would nod their head, acted like they understood and showed me that they thought I understood better than them (and because of that they didn’t debate me). I felt glad and also bad about this. Glad because I didn’t have to add my nervouseness by dealing with their argument, but bad because I didn’t really do my best to explain the answers to them.
After the class was over, most of the students stated that they understood. They had good result on their quiz. I felt so glad about it. My mother is a teacher and she ever said: the most special reward for her as a teacher is when the students understand what she taught. I started to know what she means, I guess. And I felt a bit sorry that I ever felt a bit sorry to choose Structure for my final test in Micro Teaching. Structure wasn’t that bad. (^.^)
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